4 Things to Stop Doing in 2024 (That Will Make Your Life Seriously Better)

You have my blessing to give zero f*cks about these things

Feb 06, 2024

Listen…

There is a strong chance I am not your father (DNA tests are available). But I am going to sit you on my knee, place a paternal hand around your shoulder and share four things you can - and should - let go of in 2024.

Release your death grip on ONE of these and your life will feel more stable and centered. Say goodbye to ALL of these unnecessary things, and you’ll start to blossom into your best self like a shy high schooler discovering alcohol.

Go forth, my child, and toss these things in the nearest flaming dumpster.

#1 - Stop taking dog shit advice from people

I say this with love… wait a minute, no I don’t.

Most people give terrible advice.

Right now you’ve got challenges. You might want to climb the corporate ladder. Or, climb an actual ladder. I don’t know what skills you seek.

I just know there’s a voice in your head (not the one that tells you to burn things) that says, “Damn, I wish I was slightly different”.

First of all, you’re awesome as you are. There’s a reason I peek in your bedroom window at night*. But if you do want to make a change, it’s not what questions you ask but who you ask that is everything.

The glaring problem with asking for advice is that most people are doing life in the same old, uninspired and boring way. Again, nothing wrong with that. But you wouldn’t ask a bald guy for hair care tips. Nuance matters.

If you want to get advice from someone, make sure you scream a throat-straining “YES” to one (or multiple) of the following questions:

“Does this advice feel right for me?
“Would I trade lives with this person?”
“Does this person have my best interests at heart?”

Change isn’t so much about what you do as it is about who you trust. Don’t trust your self-improvement to a bozo. Find then learn from those who have gone where you want to go.

*For legal reasons, my lawyers insist on clarification that I don’t peek into your bedroom window. That would be an outrageous reveal… it’s actually your bathroom.

#2 - Stop beating yourself up over old mistakes

DISCLAIMER: I’ve never taken a single psychology class.

I did sit through a one-hour lecture on childhood education after entering the wrong classroom on my first day at uni and was too embarrassed to leave.

The point is, I’m not going to quote Freud or Jung or Frasier. I don’t have a “hack your brain” way for you to stop beating yourself up over mistakes you’ve made. I’m just giving you permission to let that shit go.

We all have a treasure trove of embarrassing moments we’d rather forget. I once got so drunk I thought my parent’s bedroom was the bathroom and spent 20 seconds peeing on a mirror next to my Mum’s horrified, screaming face.

That’s the thing - we’ve all got skeletons in the closet.

Take those skeletons out, baby. Throw on some smooth jazz. Waltz around the living room with them bones.

I guarantee, no one thinks about your mistakes as much as you. 99.9% of the time, no one is laughing at you in a secret WhatsApp group. No one is snickering when you walk by. And, in most cases, no one is even thinking of the shit you did except you.

Is it OK to still feel embarrassed or ashamed? Sure. That’s human. Helpfully, holding onto your experiences can help you make different, better choices next time.

But don’t let those memories paralyse you. They are things that happened, not inherent characteristics that define you. Your life is like a long-running TV series. An embarrassing moment is one brief scene among a much larger narrative. The show that is your life can (and is) still awesome just because a scene sucked.

#3 - Stop caring what someone else thinks about you

If you worry about what other people think about you, congratulations - you’re human (or a very high-functioning robot).

Look, I get it. It’s easy to worry about what others think of your choices whether it’s a new business, relationship, or hat.

The downside of letting these opinions shape you is you risk becoming a people-pleasing shell of yourself. If this describes your experience, here’s the truth:

Someone’s opinions of you are shaped by their own experiences, beliefs and values - most of the time they have shit all to do with your choice.
You will be judged for what you do, there is no avoiding this unless you stop going outside and become a hermit with a long beard.

Even then, someone will have an opinion on your long beard. When you accept these two realities, you’ll find freedom in your choices. You can’t control what someone thinks, so who gives a f*ck why they think it?

On the other side of the coin, it’s in your nature to want acceptance. Humans evolved to survive in groups and approval from others has been suggested to influence self-esteem.

So if it’s human nature to seek recognition as a measure of self-worth, where does that leave you?

Don’t reject your biological need to belong.

Instead, seek out people who value you, rather than judge you. When you surround yourself with people who encourage you to be your best self (and celebrate your authenticity), you can embrace your hard-wired nature without exposing yourself to losers who make you feel self-conscious.

Winner winner Mum’s chicken dinner.

#4 - Stop waiting in long-ass lines

Ah, didn’t see this coming, did you?

We’ve been chiselling away at your mind, and then *boom* a practical suggestion. I’m sneaky like that. In fact, turn around I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

I’ll admit, some lines are necessary. You can’t skip to the front of the queue at the doctor’s office unless you have a bullet in your neck. When order is required, suck it up and wait.

I’m talking about putting an end to ‘manufactured’ prestige.

Oh, there’s a line to get into the club? Or the new brunch place? Or the local sex dungeon?

Nah, fam. Places like this commonly create a barrier to entry to make you feel like you’re part of something meaningful. In most cases, you’re falling prey to a marketing tactic. If it requires a long amount of time waiting and there’s a similar option available, choose the alternative.

Did you know Americans spend 37 billion hours waiting in lines each year? Even if you’re not American, chances are your country has its own lines too.

Be proactive and make better use of your time by asking, “Will the end benefit outweigh the cost of lining up?”.

If in doubt, get out (of the line).

13-Second Recap

Congratulations on reading this entire post (unless you scrolled to the bottom, naughty naughty).

I hope you take inspiration from these suggestions. Even if they don’t directly align with your life, the takeaway is to live with intention. When you’re in control of your choices, your outcomes feel less uncertain and your life feels more stable.

Now get out there and have an awesome 2024.

With love,

New World Porter

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