Here's Why You Should Set and Then Celebrate the Shit Out of Small Goals

A perspective-smashing lesson brought to you by cancer

I spent 244 days in hospital during my treatment for leukemia.

When I got out, planning my life felt pointless and stoopid. Why should I think about “Future Alexander” if I could relapse tomorrow?

It seemed an impossible mental problem to solve, so I stopped thinking about the future.

Instead, I focused on tomorrow.

Help my uncle in the garden, meet a friend, eat slightly expired room-temperature seafood - all tomorrow. Planning years ahead filled me with anxiety, uncertainty and terror. But planning for tomorrow was easy. It was so close that fear didn’t have time to wriggle into the equation.

#humblebrag I’m now 15 years in remission.

All of those “tomorrows” became stepping stones on the road to this milestone.

Looking back, I realise why this shift in perspective might be what you need to reach your milestones too.

Welcome, I’m your guru on this pathway to progress

Please, leave your worldly possessions and credit card information at the front desk and prepare to step into a new you.

We’ll start by walking on hot coals to liberate your inner demons. Release forms must be signed before you begin to ensure lawsuits remain minimal as the burns may be third-degree.

Got cold feet over hot coals? Fine, here’s something less painful and more valuable…

Small wins are the brushstrokes to every masterpiece in your life.

No one wakes up to flashy, life-altering change. Everyone you look up to or admire has started with wins so damn small you’d need a microscope to see ‘em. That’s the only way to achieve cool shit.

I’m not saying that’s an earth-shattering concept, by the way. But it does tend to be a forgotten one.

I point the finger of blame at Big Pharma (not really, they just seem like an easy target). Really, the blame lies with this shifting culture we live in. I’m talking about ‘Go Big or Go Home’ mindsets, skewed versions of reality on social media, and pretty much anything to do with “hustle” culture.

The result of this cultural fuck up is that we’ve collectively started to devalue small moments of change. If it ain’t cool enough to blow up on Instagram or Tickety Tock, it’s easy to feel silly acknowledging small wins. And the less often you celebrate the little things, the further you’ll sink into the broken belief that worthwhile change should be loud and obvious.

I’ll tell ya right now, that attitude is as broken as the skin on the soles of your feet after a hot coal walk (sorry, you signed the release forms, I have legal immunity).

This is me, celebrating the small win of peeing in the pool and getting away with it.

The important bit: It’s not what you do that makes a damn difference

Ah, what a cryptic headline.

I’m mysterious like that. You never know where I am or what I’m doing. QUICK, I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU. SERIOUSLY, TURN AROUND.

Sorry, that was a lie. The truth is, the way you feel about yourself after a small win is waaaay more important than the action you took. And when you make this minor adjustment in your perspective, you’ll find freedom in your choices instead of feeling trapped by dumb social pressure to only make big moves.

Here’s what I mean…

Let’s say you want to train for a triathlon but the only wet suit you’ve ever worn is the one you had on when you fell into a fountain wearing a tuxedo. And the only fitness you do is fittin’ dis doughnut in your mouth (you have to imagine I’m holding a doughnut for that to work).

Successful goals - whether training for a triathlon or something else - are not actually about changing your routine, but changing your identity.

Let’s go back to the triathlon example. Putting on a pair of shoes and walking around the block is about as small an action as possible. But it’s a gargantuan win. Not because you took 75 steps but because you’ll start to feel what it’s like to be someone who’s training for a triathlon.

Every small win helps internalise this “new you”.

The more small wins you achieve as someone who trains for a triathlon, the closer you’ll get to lining up and racing in a real event. It’s the compounding effect and it’s why every little win is a massive deal because they’re literally reshaping you.

It doesn’t matter if the win was a million miles from where you want to be. The smallest win sits on the path you want to walk. Once you’ve found the right path, getting to the end becomes a matter of probability, not possibility.

Alright, it’s checkout time at the retreat

What a journey we’ve had. I’m seeing change in so many of you and I’m smelling the scorched blisters on so many more (someone open a window, please).

As you leave the retreat and head back to your lives, just remember that most of the people celebrating life-changing wins have either spent years becoming an overnight success or they’re lying.

Your goals are valid and every damn step along the way is cause for a massive fucking celebration. It’s OK if you don’t feel like splashing your progress on social media. You might want to give a little fist pump and get back to the grind without making a scene at all.

What matters is that you recognise how small wins help shape a “new you”. And whatever the “new you” is trying to achieve, every stepping stone leads to a milestone.

I should know. I went from being unable to see beyond tomorrow, to passing 15 years cancer-free.

With love,

New World Porter

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