I Started a YouTube Channel

Because there aren't enough of them already.

I am immune to peer pressure.

Despite what everyone else was doing, I didn’t lose my virginity until my 20s, which was much later than all of my friends. I can probably think of more examples bucking the trend, but none as embarrassing to admit in public.

Admittedly, holding onto my virginity wasn’t by choice. I would have liked to lose it much earlier, but it wouldn’t go. If you’ve ever read about squatters who refuse to vacate homes, you’ve got a general idea of the struggle.

My stubborn streak extends to television as well.

I’m told Breaking Bad is pretty good. It’s broken records, people rave about Bryan Cranston, and I’ve heard quotes like “I am the one who knocks”, which don’t make sense to me, but they’re meaningful enough to be culturally relevant. I am the one who doesn’t understand.

Still, I’ve drawn a line in the sand by not watching the show in the years since it began (and ended), and now I’m stuck. To go against my own position would undermine my character — my very existence, and put me at risk of fading away like Marty McFly’s siblings in Back To The Future.

Me (maybe)

I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had started watching Breaking Bad when it first aired. Maybe I’d have lost my virginity earlier. Maybe I’d be the one who knocks (am I using that quote correctly?)

After reading about the show on Wikipedia, I learned that Walter White had cancer — like me!

That characterisation felt nice because representation in the media is important. That’s mostly a joke (because I’m a straight white male and see myself in almost every medium), but partly true because when I was diagnosed with leukemia, I felt inescapably isolated.

As a 20-year-old (and unwilling virgin), I was too old to be admitted to the Children’s Hospital. The cutoff is eighteen. Anything under that and you get a PlayStation on your ward and visits from actors dressed as Batman and Captain America.

Instead, I was admitted to an adult cancer ward, and let me tell you, these were some well-cooked adults. Isolation is a foreign concept until your ward mates are all in their 60s and 70s, while you’re within a stone’s throw of finishing higher education. Some of these men looked like they fought in the wars I learned about in school. Now, we were in the trenches together.

It sucked to feel alone in the hospital, the same way it sucks to be rudderless in life.

You’ve probably experienced this feeling in your own way. Fumbling through a new job, struggling on a first date, waking up without something meaningful to pull yourself towards — the feeling comes in different sizes but all the same flavour.

At one point during my first week of treatment, a doctor told me that my seven months of chemotherapy would put me at risk of “permanent infertility”, but no one followed up or told me what to do next. That would have been a nice thread to pull at. Sometimes, a little extra information can make a world of difference.

I guess what I’m getting at is that I’ve started making meth a YouTube channel to share some of the experiences and lessons that shaped me as a cancer patient, and now, as a Dad.

It’s called Second Chance Dad (I dare you to click that).

Experience is the teacher of all things. Julius Caesar said that, and he was brutally stabbed to death. He did some good stuff, too. My experience has taught me a lot, and it’s my hope that it can help others so they don’t feel as isolated in the turbulent waters of life.

Here’s a quick list I made (science-based), about who the channel is for:

✅ People who… like deeply relatable videos about navigating life’s challenges (not just cancer, I already had that for the both of us)

✅ People who… are smart, sexy or both (if that’s you, you’re in the right place and should subscribe immediately)

✅ People who… want to see a heavily-tattooed stay-at-home Dad make the most of his second chance and be entertained along the way

I’m only 423 million subscribers behind YouTube’s most popular creator, Mr. Beast, and I’d like to see HIM deal with a life-altering condition.

MOTHERF*CKER.

Alright, well, apparently, he’s got Crohn’s Disease. It’s a stabbing disease — not as stabbing as the disease that killed Julius Caesar, but still rough.

I guess that shows we’re all fighting battles in our own way. And whether you’re sitting on a bed in a cancer ward or scrolling on your phone, no one should feel alone.

So if you’ve ever enjoyed my writing (or want to leave hate comments — the algorithm doesn’t discriminate), I’d love for you to check out the channel.

If life has thrown you a curveball or two, let’s figure some shit out together.

With love,

New World Porter

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