15 Lessons In 15 Years of Remission: Best Life Rules You've Never Heard (+ Video)

New World Porter makes it's multimedia debut

Sep 17, 2024

I don’t know ~~anything~~ everything.

I have a History degree, which can be useful.

It’s not the glamour of marketing or usefulness of medicine, but when you’re at Trivia wondering, “Who attacked Rome in the 4th century?” you’ll feel thankful I’m on the team.

What’s that? Oh, smartphones exist now—useless degree. 👎

Thankfully, not everything can be read in books. Some of the most important lessons only come through life experience.

This year marks 15 years since I was diagnosed with leukemia, and that time has been spent becoming better at who I want to be.

Here are fifteen lessons in my life after leukemia that might help you be your best self.

#1 - Laughing At Life Is a Superpower

I got a generic hamper on Christmas Day during my first round of chemo.

There’s no point going custom when every patient’s wishlist starts and ends with “Don’t Die” (although I wouldn’t have minded a sponge bath from a nurse).

There were chocolates, dried fruits, the usual stuff. Having shaved my head in anticipation of going bald, the last item in the hamper hit the hardest—a comb.

It felt like a middle finger from the universe, so I did the only thing I could and laughed. I’ve been trying to laugh at the universe ever since.

You can’t avoid bad shit. Some days, you’re on top of the world. On other days, you’re the bald kid with a comb. You'll live a joyful life if you can laugh on both days.

#2 - It’s OK to Get a Tattoo “Just Because”

Don’t listen to tattoo snobs; you don’t need a meaningful reason to get a tattoo.

You hang art on the wall because you like how it looks. It’s OK to do the same with body art. Stop overthinking and get something small on your ankle. A tiny palm tree, a tiny bird, a tiny bird in a tiny palm tree — whatever.

When it’s done, you’ll realise tattoos aren’t as big a deal as people say, and that’s a good life lesson. It’s OK to do things “just because” without some cosmic or deep-seated reason.

#3 - There’s No Wealth Like Waking up Healthy

$400 million in the bank account would be great, but unless you’re an elite hacker, it won’t happen soon. You need money to function in the world, but don’t let a lack of money make you forget that waking up feeling strong and healthy is priceless.

Health is one of those things you only notice when it’s gone. Get in the habit of appreciating it now. On their deathbed, billionaires would trade every cent of their fortune for good health. When you wake up strong and energetic, you’re wealthy beyond belief.

P.S. If you are an elite hacker, please break into my ex’s email account and delete the poetry I wrote for her in 2010. I’m more ashamed of that than all the d*ck pics. 🙏

#4 - Send People a Message Saying, “This Made Me Think of You”

Technology has us more connected than ever… but we are also experiencing record levels of loneliness. Get in the habit of reaching out to people, but instead of sending a text, build your message around something that can be consumed. A meme, a song, a voicenote—whatever.

You’ll be surprised at how meaningful the smallest gesture can be because there’s no better feeling than being seen.

#5 - The Best Friendships Have a Pause Button

The best friendships you’ll ever have can go months or years without contact and pick up as if you saw them yesterday. Don’t lose touch on purpose, but don’t stress if life gets in the way and you don’t make contact for a while.

Maybe you had a kid, started a new job, or were sentenced to 35 years to life in prison. Whatever the reason, the greatest friends you’ll ever have are those who love you, cheer for you, and are there for you, whether it’s been a day or a year.

#6 - It’s Perfectly Fine To Like What You Like

I don’t understand modern art. Call me uncivilised. Call me uneducated. Just don’t call me with an invite to your local modern art museum because I will scream into a pillow (this would qualify as modern art).

I like a filthy poem on a bathroom wall as much as the next guy (maybe more), but some artworks go over my head (literally).

I once saw a ceiling-mounted printer randomly dropping coloured paper. I don’t know if it represented consumerism, the destruction of forest space, or if there was a sale on toner at the local office supply store and the art gallery intern bought too many. The only thing I’m sure of is that I didn’t “get it”.

I’m OK with that because I know what I like and dislike. Make sure you are, too. Feeling secure in who you are and what you like keeps you grounded. It’s much harder for life to knock you over when you know exactly what makes you tick.

#7 - Going To Bed Early is Bliss

Mum, can I stay up late tonight?”

Nine times out of ten, that question was answered with a firm no (and maybe the threat of some light violence if I didn’t get my butt to bed). But on that rare occasion when I could stay up past my bedtime… there was no comparison.

Staying up late as a kid is like entering Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory (only fewer suspicious workplace accidents). The house looks, smells and sounds different. It’s kid heaven, even if all you’re doing is watching the same shows you’d watch in the day.

As an adult, I can set my bedtime, and you better BELIEVE I’ll go to bed at a reasonable time. Staying up past 10:30 pm triggers a creeping sense of anxiety and dread. No late night feels as good as a solid rest.

#8 - Travel is Happiness Fuel

I’ve never looked back and thought, “I wish I hadn’t gone on that trip”.

It takes over 20 hours to fly from Sydney to New York. Twenty horrible, cramped hours. But it’s never stopped me. It hasn’t stopped me from flying to London, Berlin, Moscow, Chile, or a bunch of other cool places.

Despite all the long trips, cramped seating, and horrible aeroplane food, I’ve never thought, “I’d rather have a few extra thousand bucks in my bank account”. Some of the most valuable things you’ll spend money on can’t be held in your hand.

#9 - A Social Media Break is Anxiety Prevention

Before I throw stones, step into my glass house (it traps heat wonderfully, but I’m very exposed when I shower) because I break this rule more than I should.

My IG feed is a monument to good lighting, angles, and camera work. Some days, I wake up like Shrek, but I only post if I look like handsome Shrek.

I’m no psychologist (I struggle even to spell the word), but watching everyone’s fake “real lives” feels harmful — tons of studies back this up. Should we all delete social media, revert to small tribes, and play “Is this mushroom tasty or poisonous?” until we die?

Probably not.

But remember to take a break from social media sometimes and exist in real life. It feels great, and it helps turn down anxiety. Winner winner, don’t post about your chicken dinner.

#10 - Never Feel Bad For Being Your #1 Fan

I find self-promotion to be as enjoyable as sinking my teeth into a fresh peanut butter sandwich only to learn it is dog shit. But a wise man once said:

“Let people know, and if they want to subscribe, they can”.

Do you know who said that? I did. I am a wise man.

It might feel a little jarring (that’s fine; it means you’re normal), but don’t be afraid to be the one on stage AND the one cheering from the front row. Promote your business, share your achievements, put yourself first when it counts. Don’t ever feel bad for making yourself and your needs a priority.

#11 - Offering a Sweater Is a Happiness Cheat Code

When I was 12, I took a four-hour bus ride to an old gold field in rural Australia. I rarely pan for gold in my regular life (close to never), but it was a day off school.

On the bus ride, every pothole made me feel sick. When the road was smooth, I’d feel better. Eventually, the potholes outweighed the smooth road, and I violently vomited on my sweater*.

I could feel myself about to burst into tears until another kid said,

“I felt sick, too. Have my spare sweater.”

I didn’t cry and found a speck of gold when we learned how to pan — though I suspect they put that in there to make us feel good.

What I’m trying to say is that life is the bus ride. You don’t always know where you’re going or how long it takes to get there. There’ll be potholes, but you’ll have stretches of smooth road, too.

We’re all doing our best to find our happy place. You’d be surprised how many people feel the same when you feel lost or alone. If you see someone struggling, offer them a sweater — whatever form it takes.

You’ll change someone’s day and find an endless reservoir of happiness every time you give.

*In Australia, a sweater is a jumper. #TheMoreYouKnow

#12 - Find The Way That Works For You

Years ago, I came home drunk and demolished a kebab (extra garlic butter sauce). The next morning, I demolished the toilet (extra garlic butt sauce).

Rather than deal with the *ahem* fallout, I jumped straight from the toilet into the shower. They called me a savage. An animal. A monster. Now, I’m an innovator.

You think toilet paper is your ally? But you merely adopted the toilet paper. Your shower shame betrays you because it belongs to me.

The (needlessly crude) point is that curiosity might kill cats, but it’s how you craft a life with minimal friction. This applies to jobs, passions, relationships, and the list goes on—don’t let someone else’s path distract you from yours.

Find what works for you, and you’ll find an effortlessly enjoyable life.

#13 - You Don’t Have to Be The Best At Something To Enjoy It

I played soccer for 20+ years. During that period, I accidentally broke my teammate’s wrist by kicking the ball at him, scored a handful of goals, and won ‘Senior Goalkeeper of the Year’. 🏆

As far as careers go, I didn’t set the world on fire. I knew I wouldn’t be a professional soccer player when I stepped onto the pitch as an 11-year-old. But I have 20+ years of memories and lifelong friends.

There’s nothing wrong with doing something because you like it — not because you want to climb a ladder and be the best. It might be a sport, instrument, or even your job — there’s beauty in doing without pursuing.

#14 - The Most Important Relationship is The One You Have With Yourself

It doesn’t matter what you have achieved; if you’re unhappy with yourself, your achievements will leave you unfulfilled. Self-care only flows one way, and it’s from within.

If you don’t have a well-developed relationship with yourself, every other relationship suffers—your best life blooms when the seeds of self-acceptance, self-care, and self-love are sown. Stop trying to find the right person and start trying to be the right person.

#15 - Pursue Stories (They’re The Whole Point)

People have different beliefs about life. To some, it’s a journey of self-improvement; for others, it’s a cosmic crap shoot, and Elon Musk says it’s a simulation.

To me, life is the pursuit of stories. The only advice you need to ensure you’re living your best life is to ask yourself, “Is this a story worth telling?”. I’m not talking about stories worth telling at a dinner party. No one wants to listen to stories at a dinner party; they want dinner. IT’S IN THE NAME.

The goal is to collect experiences you would want to see if the curtain came down and you had one final chance to watch your life’s work unfold like a film reel.

My leukemia journey feels like a lifetime ago. But the jarring sense of finality it brought on is crystal clear. Since then, I’ve made it my mission to fill my life with experiences.

I encourage you to do the same.

I hope my rules give you some inspiration.

They’ve helped shape the 15 years since my Dad told me I had leukemia.

It’s been an incredible ride since then — and I’m honoured you’re part of it.

With love,

New World Porter

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, leave a like or comment with the button below (takes 0.46 seconds) so I can think terribly filthy thoughts about you.