24 Comments
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Lessly Field's avatar

I let my monster sleep under the bed with my favorite blankie, except when its cold.

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

You're generous with your blankie and your monster should be damn lucky for it!

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Heidi Schuyler's avatar

PTSD is my monster. Thanks for your perspective. I let mine in 5 years ago. Almost killed myself in the process. I don't think the monsters WANT to win. They WANT to be known so we can befriend them.

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

I like that interpretation, Heidi. I think I absolutely agree with you.

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Janey Thompson's avatar

That's a fab pieçe of writing, thank you 😊. It's other monsters that have stalked my waking and 'sleeping' hours for a very long time...you are right, they don't disappear if we open the door. But I'm learning that it's a start...

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

Thanks for the kind words, Janey! I hope you find a way to manage your monster, you deserve all the good things 🙌

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Janey Thompson's avatar

Therapy, though I have rolled my eyes at 'such extravagant nonsense' for years, has been REALLY helpful 😊

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Jennifer Chowning's avatar

I love this. What else needs to be said?❤️

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

I'm touched by your kind comment, so I'm very happy with those words 😀

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Dean Michael Love's avatar

Thanks so much for sharing. I’ve found myself in a battle with anxiety too over the past couple of years.

As you said, we can outrun or avoid some things, but we cannot outrun ourselves (wherever you go, there you are).

Be well 🙏🏻✌🏻

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

Here's to winning our personal battles, Dean. Much love for Mr. Love. 🙌

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Dean Michael Love's avatar

And to you. Take care. Wishing you continued good health.

(My wife has just finished a year of chemotherapy and radiation treatments to deal with uterine cancer. Her scans are clear and I’m so grateful. But thoughts of it are never far away).

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

Your family has been in the wars! Scan-xiety is real and a major mental obstacle, I'm so happy everything is clear my man, that's so awesome.

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Dean Michael Love's avatar

It sure is. Thank you so much.

The cancer scare is not the only challenge we’ve been dealing with (I have my own lineup of ugly midlife monsters to wrestle with - my job and work life among them), but it was certainly the most shocking and disorienting thing that’s happened for a long time. It still doesn’t seem real sometimes … so odd.

But I’m grateful each and every day for the clear scans and her continued healing. It was difficult and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

I’m so glad that things are better for you. I wish you continued good health and long lasting peace. ✌🏻

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

And to you, my friend! 🙌

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Liz's avatar

Thank u for sharing this I related so heavily to the anxiety monster analogy. Lots of things going on under the surface I push away until they could quite literally kill me 💀👀 nothing spookier than that lol adulting is hard. Moving into a season of prioritizing my physical health for my mental health 🙏🏽 this was so helpful dude ty

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

Amen to that season, Liz. I hope it's a bright and sunny one 😊

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kaylen alexandra's avatar

Your timing!! SPOT ON! I *thought* that I had danced w the monster two years ago. She popped up like a spring dandelion THIS WEEK and brought back-up!! Had to get back in the ring and realize that the fight may never actually, tOtAlLy end. Just have to create space for her to live with me...

Thank you for sharing so candidly, I am LOVING these intimate Porter Pieces! 👏

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

Awww thank you! It's been an interesting tonal shift to play around with, and trying anything new is a little intimidating, so this means a lot ❤️ I hope you and your Monster settle into a routine and co-exist as housemates 😊

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Ginger Cook's avatar

God damn man. I just wrote a piece about how I’m too depressed to read, and as soon as I posted it, I saw this. What a way to put my whining ass in check.

This is beautiful, and so vulnerable.

P.S. fuck those pizza parties 😆

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

Bad bosses and their God damn pizza parties, haha.

I'm gonna start my own pizza parties as a protest - and you're invited!!!

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Ginger Cook's avatar

Yessssss!!! I’ll be there 😆

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Amy Roberts's avatar

I’m so familiar with this feeling, as I have a child with suicidal ideation. It’s a sceptre that’s always with you. Acknowledging and accepting it is the first step toward healing. Thanks for sharing this.

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Alexander J. Porter's avatar

That must be incredibly challenging, Amy - I'm sorry to hear that and hope your brave openness about it can be the first step to healthy, meaningful change. I'm rooting for you!

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