OH MY LOONEY-TOONES THIS IS EXCEPTIONAL. And horrendous. As in I sympathize with what that must of been like post exhortation attempt. My god. And also exceptional, as mentioned. That quote (that I will most likely BBQ next) "when there is no enemy within, the enemy without has zero power over you" is truly life changing. And it will stick with me henceforth. Thank you so much for sharing this story. Shame really is an inside infestation that can't survive in the light of day. ☀️
a kid at my school once catfished nearly every guy in the grade because they bullied him for being gay. i didn't fall for it, but he got a visit from police and nearly got put on one of those lists. he was only like 14
I didn't have the money, and I don't believe I would have been as desperate as the many young men who see no other way out. I think I'd probably have 500+ Facebook contacts who had seen my willy, lol.
Great read. My heart sank when I thought about all the young boys (and girls) who have felt there's no other way out from a threat like this than suicide, but then rejoiced when I read of your presence of mind to be smart with varying your login info and seeing the potential benefit of pornstar notoriety. I wish we could be friends, but my birthday is in late June. I'm an Aussie though, so does that boost my score?
Unfortunately the people most susceptible to this sort of thing are modern teenagers and minors who are just beginning to explore their sexuality, and believe that doing so online offers more safety, anonymity, and freedom from consequences over doing it in person. And in many respects it does, but this is one of the major exceptions.
I've known of boys who committed suicide after being blackmailed or exposed and subject to bullying and torment from their peers, even though many of them were likely engaging in the same sorts of behaviours. They feel like they're so wrong, such a disappointment to their friends and families and to themselves. They feel like they can't talk to anyone honestly about their thoughts and their behaviours.
It sucks. We need to be willing to come together and have a conversation about the realities of the sexual behaviours and dangers encountered by minors in the modern day, yet it seems like we are institutionally unwilling to entertain such discourse; preferring instead to insist that it isn't a problem and shouldn't be a problem and if we can just get online porn sites to implement effective age gates then we can fix the problem which shouldn't and doesn't exist.
All brilliantly said, Allen. I feel lucky in a way that I went through my schooling time before social media, and wider digital life, exploded. Clearly, I caught the tail of it, but the experience must be incredibly challenging for modern young adults.
I saw a lot myself, and went through a lot, but I know it's only continued to grow as access to technology and social media has become more ubiquitous in the lives of young people.
My parents we brought up in a time before the internet, and had no awareness of the potential dangers it would present. Parents of children today have more experience, but the technologies continue to evolve and to merge with day-to-day society in new and unexpected ways.
I am somewhat encouraged by reports I hear from more recent participants in the public education system than I that sexual education has expanded and does include some discussion of technology and online behaviours. But I don't think even the people writing the curricula truly have a grasp of the extent of it. And I don't think that putting all the responsibility on horny, hormonal adolescents to abstain from engaging in sexual behaviours is a responsible or healthy approach to addressing the issues. Neither is telling parents to monitor and control all of their children's online behaviours, which is invasive and restrictive and does not foster the relationship of trust necessary for young people to feel safe being honest about their struggles.
We need to acknowledge that sexuality is a real, natural, and significant part of most adolescent's lives, and something they SHOULD NOT feel ashamed of. Accepting that is the foundation of equipping them with the knowledge and resources to take better care of themselves and make wiser decisions regarding their own sexual health and wellness. Invite them to participate in the discussion about their own well being, and allow them to help the rest of us stay aware of the new and evolving hazards in this developing digital landscape.
I'll climb down off my soap box now; thank you for listening. I get a little incensed on this topic, partly because of my own life experiences, and partly because I feel like it is such an important opportunity for the intervention in and mitigation of harmful sexual behaviours, and it feels like it's going almost completely unaddressed.
That was ballsy of you!… get it ballsy.. mad props though, it’s not easy to move through weaponized shame no sir. Way to set a good example of what to do in that situation as well as bring awareness that this stuff happens. I had no idea!
OH MY LOONEY-TOONES THIS IS EXCEPTIONAL. And horrendous. As in I sympathize with what that must of been like post exhortation attempt. My god. And also exceptional, as mentioned. That quote (that I will most likely BBQ next) "when there is no enemy within, the enemy without has zero power over you" is truly life changing. And it will stick with me henceforth. Thank you so much for sharing this story. Shame really is an inside infestation that can't survive in the light of day. ☀️
Any comment from you makes me feel like I've hit the mark. TAKE THAT BLACKMAILERS OF THE WORLD.
Yes, take that!! 👊
I concur w Megs
Wholeheartedly.
It feels like you are good now, but I am not over it yet! So sorry it happened to you and the quote is now a post-it on my desk. 🖤
I f*cking love that quote. Always brings me back to the mindset I need to navigate through life. Thanks for the sweetness <3
finger to the blackmailers.
great entry
Thank you for taking the time to check it out! Means a lot :)
a kid at my school once catfished nearly every guy in the grade because they bullied him for being gay. i didn't fall for it, but he got a visit from police and nearly got put on one of those lists. he was only like 14
He caught all the bullies in compromising videos? Damn, that guy gonna take over the world some day (or end up in prison, it's a coin flip).
Man, between this and the cancer (and I'm sure many, many more events since ), all I read is confidence - even if it didn't feel like it at the time.
Do you ever wonder how you would've approached it if it wasn't a burner account 🤔?
I didn't have the money, and I don't believe I would have been as desperate as the many young men who see no other way out. I think I'd probably have 500+ Facebook contacts who had seen my willy, lol.
Storytelling is the best way to empower yourself. Hooray for outwitting that scummy scam artist!
And, hooray for outwitting the disease known as cancer. 😊
I'll take both of those Hoorays - thank you Veronica (and hooray right back!).
Wow. Lol.
That AI pic is good.. that's you in your 50s btw! 🔥 And not good about that muscle eating infection. Yikes, Porter. Hugs.
Isn't it a good pic, haha. I hope I look that good in my 50s ;)
Fantastic piece and so (excuse me, sorry), GRIPPING.
Haha, an excellent wordplay - no apology needed!
Good for you! She put in all that work and got nothing. And you had a fun time, for a while.
And I think I’ve said this before, a British friend of mine says “Wooster sauce”. If that’s good for a gal from London, it’s good enough for me.
I am totally stealing "Wooster Sauce" (and saving myself PLENTY of embarrassment along the way).
All yours, free of charge!
I figure that if a certified English person says it, it must be acceptable. So far, it’s worked.
You almost died a virgin?! That is the real tragedy here.
All kidding aside, sharing your stories like this is the most powerful way to normalize shit and make people feel comfortable with doing the same. 👏👏👏
And I was STRESSED about it, let me tell you, haha. Thank you for the sweet words :)
Tbh I probably would've been too and would have most definitely sought out a nurse to fix that shit ASAP 🤣
Great read. My heart sank when I thought about all the young boys (and girls) who have felt there's no other way out from a threat like this than suicide, but then rejoiced when I read of your presence of mind to be smart with varying your login info and seeing the potential benefit of pornstar notoriety. I wish we could be friends, but my birthday is in late June. I'm an Aussie though, so does that boost my score?
Being Australian is a score-booster no matter what way I look at it! And thank you for taking the time to check this out!!! 😃
That is a horrible situation to be in, but holy shit you handled it like such a boss! More power to you dude
I appreciate that!!!
Unfortunately the people most susceptible to this sort of thing are modern teenagers and minors who are just beginning to explore their sexuality, and believe that doing so online offers more safety, anonymity, and freedom from consequences over doing it in person. And in many respects it does, but this is one of the major exceptions.
I've known of boys who committed suicide after being blackmailed or exposed and subject to bullying and torment from their peers, even though many of them were likely engaging in the same sorts of behaviours. They feel like they're so wrong, such a disappointment to their friends and families and to themselves. They feel like they can't talk to anyone honestly about their thoughts and their behaviours.
It sucks. We need to be willing to come together and have a conversation about the realities of the sexual behaviours and dangers encountered by minors in the modern day, yet it seems like we are institutionally unwilling to entertain such discourse; preferring instead to insist that it isn't a problem and shouldn't be a problem and if we can just get online porn sites to implement effective age gates then we can fix the problem which shouldn't and doesn't exist.
It's mass delusion.
All brilliantly said, Allen. I feel lucky in a way that I went through my schooling time before social media, and wider digital life, exploded. Clearly, I caught the tail of it, but the experience must be incredibly challenging for modern young adults.
I saw a lot myself, and went through a lot, but I know it's only continued to grow as access to technology and social media has become more ubiquitous in the lives of young people.
My parents we brought up in a time before the internet, and had no awareness of the potential dangers it would present. Parents of children today have more experience, but the technologies continue to evolve and to merge with day-to-day society in new and unexpected ways.
I am somewhat encouraged by reports I hear from more recent participants in the public education system than I that sexual education has expanded and does include some discussion of technology and online behaviours. But I don't think even the people writing the curricula truly have a grasp of the extent of it. And I don't think that putting all the responsibility on horny, hormonal adolescents to abstain from engaging in sexual behaviours is a responsible or healthy approach to addressing the issues. Neither is telling parents to monitor and control all of their children's online behaviours, which is invasive and restrictive and does not foster the relationship of trust necessary for young people to feel safe being honest about their struggles.
We need to acknowledge that sexuality is a real, natural, and significant part of most adolescent's lives, and something they SHOULD NOT feel ashamed of. Accepting that is the foundation of equipping them with the knowledge and resources to take better care of themselves and make wiser decisions regarding their own sexual health and wellness. Invite them to participate in the discussion about their own well being, and allow them to help the rest of us stay aware of the new and evolving hazards in this developing digital landscape.
I'll climb down off my soap box now; thank you for listening. I get a little incensed on this topic, partly because of my own life experiences, and partly because I feel like it is such an important opportunity for the intervention in and mitigation of harmful sexual behaviours, and it feels like it's going almost completely unaddressed.
Raw, honest, funny, and bloody horrendous. Wonderfully written, as always Alex.
That's so kind of you to say! I'm able to laugh about it now for sure :)
My most embarrassing moment was that time I killed that guy.
Delayed justice (also a great name for a cold case cop show).
That was ballsy of you!… get it ballsy.. mad props though, it’s not easy to move through weaponized shame no sir. Way to set a good example of what to do in that situation as well as bring awareness that this stuff happens. I had no idea!
Haha, I get it, excellent word play - and thank you! Hopefully it resonates with a poor kid who ends up in the same sticky situation.
That's the stuff of a true warrior. I love your response! 💥
Thank you, Melanie :) We owe it to ourselves to push onwards.