Jesus christ, this was a beautiful read. I hope the last days of pregnancy haven't been too much of a struggle for your wife, I remember being so fed up by this point.
I'm going to share a personal story now that yours makes me think of. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 12. I obviously had a very different experience in my visits to the cancer ward than you did, as I wasn't the one that was sick, but until I fell pregnant with my first my overriding sense of hospitals was that they were dangerous, horrible places that people left in body bags. I'd hyperventilate when walking into one, when I was quite a bit younger than I am now. I was so triggered by them it was scary to even think about going there when I was pregnant. But, like you, the experience of visiting them with the idea of bringing new life completely reshaped my view, and I now feel reborn in a way when it comes to that particular trauma trigger
Thank you for sharing your story. Some of this will likely come up for you again when you meet your daughter - the line between life and death becomes so thin when we look into the faces of brand new humans, and it's really common for us to relive traumas as we try to navigate our rebirth as parents. You'll do great though. She's lucky to have you. See you on the other side x
Somebody once said not to look back on the past, nor to worry about the future, but to just live in the present moment. Think about what's going to happen soon! And when she arrives, give everyone you know some bubble-gum cigars--or something else to mark the occasion!
I ended up with PTSD after a traumatic event at a hospital. After figuring out what was going on, I started therapy and it went well. Interestingly, during the therapy I developed a fear of a DIFFERENT hospital! I then had to add an exposure protocol for that hospital to get through the fear. 😆
Jesus christ, this was a beautiful read. I hope the last days of pregnancy haven't been too much of a struggle for your wife, I remember being so fed up by this point.
I'm going to share a personal story now that yours makes me think of. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 12. I obviously had a very different experience in my visits to the cancer ward than you did, as I wasn't the one that was sick, but until I fell pregnant with my first my overriding sense of hospitals was that they were dangerous, horrible places that people left in body bags. I'd hyperventilate when walking into one, when I was quite a bit younger than I am now. I was so triggered by them it was scary to even think about going there when I was pregnant. But, like you, the experience of visiting them with the idea of bringing new life completely reshaped my view, and I now feel reborn in a way when it comes to that particular trauma trigger
Thank you for sharing your story. Some of this will likely come up for you again when you meet your daughter - the line between life and death becomes so thin when we look into the faces of brand new humans, and it's really common for us to relive traumas as we try to navigate our rebirth as parents. You'll do great though. She's lucky to have you. See you on the other side x
Somebody once said not to look back on the past, nor to worry about the future, but to just live in the present moment. Think about what's going to happen soon! And when she arrives, give everyone you know some bubble-gum cigars--or something else to mark the occasion!
((((Hugs)))) to you on this special occasion!
"There's a kind of hush, all over the world tonight..."
This is a beautifully elegant post, Alexander. Best wishes for a wonderful birth experience for you all.
Your daughter will be one lucky girl to have you as her dad.
Think of this as your first opportunity to be strong for your daughter. I know you’ll be her hero!
I love all of this. Even that horrible part of your life, it made you who you are. You'll be a great dad!
Wonderfully written reflection on what was and what will come to be! Thank you, Alexander.
Happy fatherhood!!
Yay for new beginnings!
I ended up with PTSD after a traumatic event at a hospital. After figuring out what was going on, I started therapy and it went well. Interestingly, during the therapy I developed a fear of a DIFFERENT hospital! I then had to add an exposure protocol for that hospital to get through the fear. 😆
Sending you and your wife big internet hugs! She’s got this — your daughter is so lucky to have you both 💌
All the best to you, your wife, and the baby! This is going to lead to some excellent content for future posts.
(I’m assuming that’s what’s really behind the whole parenting thing.)
Ah, lovely, what a great piece!
We all love you and are cheering you on💛💙🤍❤️🧡
SO exciting.. I had a feeling it was very soon! 🤗 enjoy enjoy enjoy her! And I hope it all goes smoothly. Your new life is about to begin! x