Sorry about Emma** but thank god you escaped the idiot children.
LOVED the bit on REACTIONS- life is truly all about perspective. I hope you ask Mum to recreate the Cow to pin the tail on, and invite us all to your next birthday 🥳
She hasn't drawn a cow in some years but I bet she's still got the magic touch. I'll start collecting fruit now for the 'Throw The Orange Into The Milkcrate' game 🍊🍊🍊
I'll just send her over a pic of my silhouette to trace and she will have nailed it. LMAO Kidding! We'll send her yours. Kidding again! I used to work at a cafe and took home one of the hideous plastic milkcrates to put my records in like a decade ago. I haven't thought about that precious piece of furniture in a min, but I love knowing that your fam upcycled too.
I absolutely loved reading this. It was so funny and full of personality. The end note was uplifting and I am glad you chose the latter for your life and grabbed life by the balls and did the thing! I subscribed and am looking forward to seeing your posts in my inbox!!
I also turned 7 on my 7th birthday! Small world aye?
You turned 7 on your 7th birthday, too?! Damn, I thought I was special.
Also, Kayla, your comments are as unique as your last name and I appreciate you taking the time to check out my stuff! I hope to clog your inbox with weekly newsletters until the sun flames out.
I came to this conclusion when Lily came into my life. I wanted to blame anyone or anything I could. I was Angry AF. Buy then I held her and knew she would never want life to just happen to me. I had to make life happen for me.
I ran a nonprofit, I was the COO of a multimillion dollar nonprofit, I did IVF and adopted out my extra embryos
And I finally got the courage to figure out what I truly wanted in life and went and grabbed it by the balls.
Love love love your writing! Thank you for sharing such a wonderful post!
All the best people are born on their birthdays 😉 I'm always in awe of your ability to pick yourself up and power through in life. It sounds like you're making choices, not receiving consequences and I LOVE that for you ❤️
So is the cake knife rule just for guys or do girls also have to kiss the nearist girl? Guy? Ninja Turtle? My birthday was on Saturday so I guess I'm safe for another year.
It's all gender! I suspect it's rooted in some pretty heteronormative beliefs so it was guy kisses girl and girl kisses guy. But I say the cake-cutter gets a smooch from whoever they're into!
Very much not the point of the article but regarding the cultural detour - where (and when) was this party rule prevalent? As a former prolific attender of children’s birthday parties, I’d never heard of it before.
Oh interesting! All the parties I’ve gone to were in suburban Perth, in the ‘00s-‘10s. I see so many cultural experiences like this online that never seemed to have permeated my childhood, I seem to be learning about a new one every few days!
There’s a lot of wisdom in here but I can’t get past HOW ANGRY I AM AT YOUR MUM! (Also sorry I’m late to the party - pun entirely intended - I’ve been away.) hooray amazing reading as always! 🥳
Your rage soothes the wound. I think Emma would appreciate it too, wherever she is (probably with her mullet husband by the highway). Hope your travels are taking you to amazing places!!!
I was born 3 weeks too early. So my birthday isn't really my birthday, but I'll have to stick with it. Otherwise I had had to share with Jesus, and I would have Christmas presents as birthday presents..
I am a huge birthday person. Like, HUGE. It might be my favourite day for everyone to celebrate (I will always hype your special day!) - so when I saw the stat about being more likely to die on this day, I freaked out a little. It’s a risk I’m willing to take each year because birthdays are the BEST!
Thank you for taking the time to check it out!!! I felt pressure to elicit a chuckle after claiming the algorithm was ignoring my humour. You've put my mind at ease.
Dirty knife equals a kiss? This American has never heard of that. So sorry you missed out on a kiss from Emma. But you may have dodged a bullet, indeed.
Opening up a Barbie doll and blowing out the candles on my made-from-a-mix strawberry cake on my 5th birthday are two of the defining moments of my life. (Plus, having photos of me doing both helps!)
(Note: No, I didn't have a boy at the party I wanted to kiss. That happened on the playground at school.)
Aww, seems like Emma was a good girl, taking permission from mum and telling her intentions and all. How sweet. I really enjoy your writing. Your personality shines through and the way you bring out life lessons from your stories is amazing. You didn't use Emma's real name, that's good. But then, I can't wait for the story where she read this and figured out she's Emma and...Good luck! 😂
Maryam, you're an absolute ray of sunshine, and I love seeing your positivity in my comments 😃 And if you're out there, Emma... stop letting your kid eat glue!!!
Kismet: I turned 7 on my 7th birthday too?!
Sorry about Emma** but thank god you escaped the idiot children.
LOVED the bit on REACTIONS- life is truly all about perspective. I hope you ask Mum to recreate the Cow to pin the tail on, and invite us all to your next birthday 🥳
She hasn't drawn a cow in some years but I bet she's still got the magic touch. I'll start collecting fruit now for the 'Throw The Orange Into The Milkcrate' game 🍊🍊🍊
I'll just send her over a pic of my silhouette to trace and she will have nailed it. LMAO Kidding! We'll send her yours. Kidding again! I used to work at a cafe and took home one of the hideous plastic milkcrates to put my records in like a decade ago. I haven't thought about that precious piece of furniture in a min, but I love knowing that your fam upcycled too.
Your double "kidding!" got me good, I enjoyed that, haha. You've got some character. I'm here for it.
I absolutely loved reading this. It was so funny and full of personality. The end note was uplifting and I am glad you chose the latter for your life and grabbed life by the balls and did the thing! I subscribed and am looking forward to seeing your posts in my inbox!!
I also turned 7 on my 7th birthday! Small world aye?
You turned 7 on your 7th birthday, too?! Damn, I thought I was special.
Also, Kayla, your comments are as unique as your last name and I appreciate you taking the time to check out my stuff! I hope to clog your inbox with weekly newsletters until the sun flames out.
ahaha looking forward to your posts! Thank you for replying back. Love the enthusiasm and personality you bring to Substack!
And funny thing is, this is my married last name, my maiden name is “Orlando” ;)
"I’m the opposite. I was born on my birthday."
The literalism of this is hilarious 😂
I came to this conclusion when Lily came into my life. I wanted to blame anyone or anything I could. I was Angry AF. Buy then I held her and knew she would never want life to just happen to me. I had to make life happen for me.
I ran a nonprofit, I was the COO of a multimillion dollar nonprofit, I did IVF and adopted out my extra embryos
And I finally got the courage to figure out what I truly wanted in life and went and grabbed it by the balls.
Love love love your writing! Thank you for sharing such a wonderful post!
All the best people are born on their birthdays 😉 I'm always in awe of your ability to pick yourself up and power through in life. It sounds like you're making choices, not receiving consequences and I LOVE that for you ❤️
🤣🤣
I deeply appreciate that and it means a lot.
It's hard as shit. Still fucking is. But like, I let life happen for so long. And the universe was like “Wake up bitch” 🤣
Time to LIVE
So is the cake knife rule just for guys or do girls also have to kiss the nearist girl? Guy? Ninja Turtle? My birthday was on Saturday so I guess I'm safe for another year.
It's all gender! I suspect it's rooted in some pretty heteronormative beliefs so it was guy kisses girl and girl kisses guy. But I say the cake-cutter gets a smooch from whoever they're into!
Very much not the point of the article but regarding the cultural detour - where (and when) was this party rule prevalent? As a former prolific attender of children’s birthday parties, I’d never heard of it before.
Suburban Australia, Sydney. Early 90's.
Looks like it's still going in some circles to this day!
SOURCE: https://www.mamamia.com.au/children-and-discussing-consent/
Oh interesting! All the parties I’ve gone to were in suburban Perth, in the ‘00s-‘10s. I see so many cultural experiences like this online that never seemed to have permeated my childhood, I seem to be learning about a new one every few days!
The article above doesn't seem a fan of them. I was glad to be in the thick of it, dirtying up every knife I could find.
There’s a lot of wisdom in here but I can’t get past HOW ANGRY I AM AT YOUR MUM! (Also sorry I’m late to the party - pun entirely intended - I’ve been away.) hooray amazing reading as always! 🥳
Your rage soothes the wound. I think Emma would appreciate it too, wherever she is (probably with her mullet husband by the highway). Hope your travels are taking you to amazing places!!!
I was born 3 weeks too early. So my birthday isn't really my birthday, but I'll have to stick with it. Otherwise I had had to share with Jesus, and I would have Christmas presents as birthday presents..
The dreaded Christmas/Birthday combo is no gift at all. You deserve to be celebrated twice (if not a third time for good measure!).
🤣🤣🤣
You might be right
Bummer about Emma but I’m glad you keep surviving your birth days. Loved reading this. You are LOL funny.
Here's to many more birthday survivals for us both, Grace. And thank you!!! 😊😊😊
I am a huge birthday person. Like, HUGE. It might be my favourite day for everyone to celebrate (I will always hype your special day!) - so when I saw the stat about being more likely to die on this day, I freaked out a little. It’s a risk I’m willing to take each year because birthdays are the BEST!
This was delightful.
Thank you for taking the time to check it out!!! I felt pressure to elicit a chuckle after claiming the algorithm was ignoring my humour. You've put my mind at ease.
Au contraire…
https://thestrangenesskit.substack.com/p/your-birthday-is-never-your-deathday
Hey, we have the same initials (sort of!)
Dirty knife equals a kiss? This American has never heard of that. So sorry you missed out on a kiss from Emma. But you may have dodged a bullet, indeed.
I kind of like knowing that's a strange Australianism. But I'm happy to share it with the world!!!
Opening up a Barbie doll and blowing out the candles on my made-from-a-mix strawberry cake on my 5th birthday are two of the defining moments of my life. (Plus, having photos of me doing both helps!)
(Note: No, I didn't have a boy at the party I wanted to kiss. That happened on the playground at school.)
That made-from-mix strawberry cake sounds so damn good right now.
Aww, seems like Emma was a good girl, taking permission from mum and telling her intentions and all. How sweet. I really enjoy your writing. Your personality shines through and the way you bring out life lessons from your stories is amazing. You didn't use Emma's real name, that's good. But then, I can't wait for the story where she read this and figured out she's Emma and...Good luck! 😂
Maryam, you're an absolute ray of sunshine, and I love seeing your positivity in my comments 😃 And if you're out there, Emma... stop letting your kid eat glue!!!
Oh man... I share the same birth/death day as Shakespeare.
I want a cardboard cutout of Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio on either side of the altar on my April 23rd funeral.
I have a feeling you'll go on to achieve greater heights than your birthday twin. I HAVE A GOOD FEELING INDEED.
I have NEVER heard that cake thing before…. but your mother is a blocker extraordinaire!
Could Australians have invented a weird cake tradition without the world knowing?!
yes
When is the next major birthday in your life? I'm formally, officially, trans-continentally passing the tradition to you.
When the party code is invoked, the Party Gods MUST be honoured.
I will pass it to my son whose b day is tomorrow! 😄