51 Comments
Aug 13Liked by Alexander J. Porter

This post literally made me LOL!

I too no longer will go to a gig unless I can sit and I’ve put several venues on a boycott list (even if I can sit) because they are soul-less/expensive/over crowded. One thing that living with or surviving cancer (or any life threatening condition teaches you) is not to waste time on doing things that make you uncomfortable/unhappy/bored etc., etc. Of course, it might just be that I’m getting old and crotchety.

Thank you for the giggles though on this glorious day in good old POM land!

Viv

Expand full comment
author

Viv, if you've LOL'd, then I've done my job.

😊😊😊

Expand full comment
Aug 20Liked by Alexander J. Porter

At least you don’t have to retire from ice bucket challenges… do you?

Do you?!

Expand full comment
author

I forget to get in on that trend in the first place, so I'm well late by now!

Expand full comment
Aug 20Liked by Alexander J. Porter

That’s comforting, actually

Expand full comment

That’s a lot easier than the planking we do in exercise class.

Expand full comment
author

Yours is much healthier though!

Expand full comment

This is probably no surprise : I never enjoyed the mosh pits- scary dirty things LOL! My daughter insisted on leaving myside at the last concert I took her to and made a beeline for it. I do miss the first rows seating's and seeing the whites of their eyes as they smile. Or being so close to Elton John at his piano we could compliment him and he would respond with a smile. 🌻Glad you're feeling better!

Expand full comment
author

That front row spot by Elton John sounds amazing - and I suspect there wouldn't be too much of a mosh pit at his shows, haha. And thank you!

Expand full comment

Nope, No Mosh for EJ!

Expand full comment
Aug 13Liked by Alexander J. Porter

Noooooo not the planking 😂

Expand full comment
author

Shaaaaaame.

Expand full comment
Aug 13Liked by Alexander J. Porter

Crying - from laughing at the odd angle of your head thrown into the pictures!!!!!! Brilliant!🤣

Expand full comment
author

Haha, that head photo has become something of a mascot. Long may he be at crooked angles.

Expand full comment

Ex-massage therapist here: it happens. As long as you don't make intense eye contact with us and making gross comments (true storIES), you'll probably be fine.

Expand full comment
author

I hope no one started whistling!!!

Expand full comment

Depends what you mean by that I suppose.

😂😂😂

Expand full comment
Aug 13Liked by Alexander J. Porter

I too have gained perspective from Serious Events and know both how valuable it is and that it doesn’t pay or buy much.

I have retired from: trying to solve other’s problems for them, diet fads, and climbing the ladder. I’ll see you in the maelstrom, but I’ll bring a chair if there aren’t any, we can sit and listen to the music as we float on!

Expand full comment
author

Congratulations on your retirement as well, Jessie!

Here's to living life on our terms.

Expand full comment
Aug 23Liked by Alexander J. Porter

Respect, old sir 😂😂😂 Brilliant, hilarious, thought-provoking. Thank you for sharing this with us all!!!

Expand full comment
author

Retirement feels gooooood.

I trust you've retired from a few unwanted things/people/stuff too!

Expand full comment

Yes, yes! 👏 And lots more to go, too!

Expand full comment

Planking!!! You reminded me of when my teen kids were part of that. But I'm not going to tell you about the neck-nom challenge that they put on me - and I accepted. And posted online. I was over 50 at the time. Congratulations on your admirable maturity.

Expand full comment
author

I tried Googling this challenge and nothing came up! What did I miss out on??

Expand full comment

It was dreadful - literally just down a drink in one and then nominate someone else. Things got out of control, with people sinking pints of gin and daft stuff like that. People died. At the time, there was a new soft drink in UK, a mixer named Pussy, in a tin. For my neknom I sank a vodka and Pussy on camera in a gay bar, with (in) appropriate innuendo. What was I thinking?! You missed nothing by not being part of that one! https://youtu.be/f7oF0lpY_MQ?si=O1tgtC_ng7GY7h-0

Expand full comment
author

I did NOT expect that! Wow, I'm OK with missing that particular period in time - and glad you got through it without *too* much trouble.

Expand full comment
Aug 19Liked by Alexander J. Porter

omg haha totally agree with the live music - those speakers are sometimes too loud, I can't stand that long anymore my legs hurt, theres too many people so close together and most are drunk, high and half naked pushing into each other so its like getting pushed around in a sauna with some loud music in the background. I do enjoy an elder crowd for mosh pits like a Diana Ross or Salt-n-Pepa audience. Way more respectful, they kinda keep to themselves and understand personal space so you can see the stage and dance around a bit. Still drunk though haha

Expand full comment
author

I like that you have found a good middle ground - everything in a perfect state of balance, haha.

Expand full comment
Aug 17Liked by Alexander J. Porter

Dude, that duck photo and caption was peak comedy. Thank you for making me laugh this morning. Great article.

Expand full comment
author

Appreciate that, brother!

To be fair, that duck sliding into frame turned something idiotic into something idiotic with a duck. And I'm thankful for that :)

Expand full comment

Low key shocked you're 35. Then realized.. I'm already 30.... fuck. How did this happen?!

The planking part was probably my favorite tbh. Because it's so so so accurate. I was in college when it was super popular... OH MY GOD... plankers everywhere!!!

Expand full comment
author

Hahaha, yeah, the age thing hits me sometimes, too.

Like, WTF, how did I suddenly go from leaving school to being in my mid 30's?

I don't know how it happened, and I do NOT approve.

Expand full comment

Fucking facts. I've also somehow managed to fit an entire lifetime into a decade... my 20s where... intense 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Expand full comment

This was a great post! I laughed, I cried, I shared some of it with friends. I went to a live show recently and had to stand for 4 hours and completely broke down. I’m so happy I stumbled upon your page! Definitely subscribing

Expand full comment
author

Four hours! You're entitled to some form of compensation for that. If you're not reimbursed, I'll start a riot (but I'll be sitting down, I can't riot all day on my feet).

Expand full comment

Haha, I’ll inquire on reimbursement for now, seated rioting will do

Expand full comment
Aug 14Liked by Alexander J. Porter

Landlords don't accept perspective was what first started my giggling. I have never heard the term punishing the prince 😅

I love your attitude towards life and the way you write. Thanks for bringing a laugh too.

Expand full comment
author

That phrase escaping your attention is probably a clue as to how silly it is, haha. Happy to give you a little chuckle!

Expand full comment
Aug 14Liked by Alexander J. Porter

I’m 33 and will take the misuse of “literally” to my grave, but I’m retired from “hella.”

Expand full comment
author

Annie, I'll literally run through a brick wall for your right to misuse literally. Enjoy retirement!!!

Expand full comment